Reflect, Redirect and Reset... Coming Out of Covid

In these past few months of Covid-19 I have lived a whole other life, like any other life, parts of it have been amazing, parts of it have been painful, and most of it I pray I will never experience again.


When this all started a dear friend of mine said "Use this time to workout, to keep on a schedule, and to come back a better version of yourself." I wanted to say I was going to be one of those people coming out of the Covid-19 debacle an enlightened person, one who was changed for the better, but that's just not how it was for me. I am coming out of it alive, but wounded, occasionally hyperventilating, and clinging to shreds of a life I once knew, much like Rose and Jack desperately clung to that door in the final scenes of The Titanic. (Which we all know could have held them both, but that's for a different conversation....)

Covid brought with it an uncertainty and an unknown that I have never experienced before, and it found me at a time when I was already questioning my life's direction anyway.

Then suddenly I found myself washing my hands 57 times a day, wearing a mask, standing 6-17' feet away from everyone, learning how to attend Zoom meetings, and side-eyeing anyone who sneezed or coughed within a 1 mile radius of me.

During this period I was furloughed from my job, and I spent 12 weeks-ish wondering and praying to any deity who would listen, to please let me have my job back. I spent countless hours worrying about my finances, and what I was going to do if I didn't get back to the job I loved, and for the most part, I did this silently because I didn't want to burden anyone else or look weak.

Then in order to forget my career concerns, I buried myself in another life, one that kept me busy, allowed me to resolve some things from my past, and where I will forever be grateful I was able to resolve that in my soul, I am absolutely jubilant to have permanently nailed that door shut after taking out the trash.

During this pandemic I have tested my relationships with friends and family, and where they were mostly supportive of my "come-apart" I know I have hurt people as I have unapologetically walked my walk.

Things have since gotten back to a semi-normal rhythm, but I still felt completely drained and emotionally beat to hell, and I know myself well enough to know I needed a reset. I needed to sit, to be quiet, and simply think. Even though not all the changes that resulted from Covid-19 were bad, and some of them were long overdue, any change, even for the better, can be difficult when the rest of the world/your life is changing so rapidly around it.  Therefore, two weeks ago I booked a self-isolating trip to Maine. I needed to visit Maine in order to research my current book, and I could think of no better way to quarantine than by staying in a rustic cabin in the woods away from everything and everybody. It would give me plenty of time and space to reflect, redirect, and reset.

I can tell you a "reset" is exactly what I needed. I needed to be away from the world, to sleep outside, and to get lost in nature. I needed to walk barefoot so I could feel the earth, to swim in a lake, and to hike the mountain. I needed to get lost in order to be found again. I guess that is enlightenment.....

Next Best Thing to Heaven

At the end of my life, I don't want to look back on things and say: "I wish I would have done that."
I don't want to look back and realize I missed out on the simple things in life.
I have always wanted to sleep outside, but not in a tent.
The practical part of my brain always dissuades the part of my brain that's still 10 years old from trying this because Ohio is full of mosquitoes, and both parts of my brain agree they hate those blood suckers, therefore it's never happened.
Until tonight.....

It's currently 58 degrees tonight in Maine, and there are virtually no bugs out right now.
This paired with the fact we have access to a screened in porch?

The perfect sleeping weather, and outside!
Not in a tent.

To hear the sound of the waves gently lapping against the shore line, while the trees dance in unison above our heads. The fragrant smell of pine trees and smoke from the fire drifting about us.

Maine has to be the next best thing to Heaven....
My guess is I will sleep better tonight than I have in years!

Castle in the Prairie

On my tour of Kansas and the surrounding country side, The Reluctant Farmer and her mother said to each other, "Let's take her to see Coronado Heights!"  There was a lot of excited chatter and hushed talking in the front seat, and I had no clue exactly where we were going.  I watched the prairie zip past my window, as we bumped along the spine jarring dirt road, and finally I heard them say:  "We're here!"  I looked up and there was a large hill in front of us.  It didn't look spectacular.  It looked just like any other hill that you might see, anywhere in Ohio.  We wound our way up the steep driveway, and when we reached the top of the hill I was speechless!    

It was like I was suddenly transported to Scotland!

Immediately I got excited (Remember I LOVE anything old and abandoned!) and started rattling off questions faster than an auctioneer on the auction block.  

"What is this place?!"  

"Who built it?!"

"Why did they build it?!"

"Can we go inside?!"

The Reluctant Farmer said:  "I think it was built by some french explorer."  

Her mother quickly disagreed and said:  "No, I think it was built by the WPA in the 1940's."    

This led to more questions by me:  

"What is the WPA?"  

"Why would you build such a place if you weren't protecting yourself from something?!"

"Were there Indian attacks here?!"

Side note:  Turns out that awesome castles bring out my inner ADHD tendencies....

Rain coming in across the prairie!

Since neither of my "tour guides" could give me solid answers, I took to good ol' trusty Google and searched for the reason behind this awesome castle.  I learned that Coronado Heights was built by the Works Progress Administrations in the 1930's.  It was named after Francisco Vasquez de Coronado, an explorer who visited Kansas in 1541 in search of the Native American community Quivira, where he was told "the trees were hung with golden bells and the pots and pans were beaten gold."  Coronado never did find the gold he was looking for, but he did get this awesome castle named after him hundreds of years later!  Sort of the same, right?!

Now, what is the WPA you ask?!  

The WPA was a national program that employeed millions of unemployed people in the late 1930's, having them perform public works projects such as creating roads, bridges or large castles.  The purpose was to provide a job and income stability to families that otherwise would not have an income during The Great Depression.  

So in an anti-climatic conclusion I learned that the castle was only there for people to enjoy, and enjoy it I did.  From the magical feeling I got from discovering a castle in the middle of a prairie, to the strength that this structure demanded, I thoroughly enjoyed myself.  Perhaps the most enjoyable part was watching three rain storms come in over the prairie from different directions.  It was breathtaking!  

If Her Walls Could Talk....

The Reluctant Farmer, her mother and I were cruising down the road on our way to Coronado Heights when suddenly I heard The Reluctant Farmer exclaim:  "Oh, honey!  Look at that house!"  (She knows I love all things old and abandoned...)  I looked up and I think my heart stopped.  There in the middle of a field, in the middle of nowhere, sat this beauty.  The Reluctant Farmer quickly pulled over so I could snap a few pictures, but a zoom lens wasn't good enough for me.  I wanted a driveway!  

It took a few moments, but we located where the driveway once was.  I quickly stuffed an extra lens in my pocket and hustled up the dirt tracks that were now mostly covered by prairie.  I was up to my arm pits in the meadow with grass hoppers hopping all around me like popcorn kernels on a stove, but I kept advancing, taking pictures as I went.  

When I got up close to her, I simply said: "Hello.  You're beautiful, and you look like you have been alone for a long time." 

I swear when I closed my eyes I heard her whisper back:  "It has been a long time.  Thank you for stopping by." 

In my head, as I was going behind the house, I was thinking: "Wow!  I wonder how long it has been since someone has lived here?!"  And then I stumbled across this part of the puzzle....

A refrigerator from the mid 1930's - early 1940's.  It had just been tossed out the door and into the backyard, where it lay for God knows how long.  It was here that I had to stop, because something about this house moved me.  I placed one hand on the refrigerator, feeling the cold metal under my finger tips and audibly asked: "What makes someone just up and leave their home?"  

I moved on the the east side of the house, which is the side that had the most damage, and again I stopped.  I closed my eyes for a moment, and let the prairie winds blow through me, and I swear for a moment I heard the slam of the front door, and children laughing.  It was obvious at some point this house was very loved.  And for a moment I wished those walls could talk.

I continued taking pictures as I walked around the house, and after I was done I thanked her for allowing me to visit.  I carefully listened for the sound of rattlesnakes as I fought my way back to the car, and for the remainder of the afternoon I was in awe.  My mind raced wondering about that astute woman.  Why was she alone?

The only explanation that we could come up with was that during The Great Depression, when The Dust Bowl hit the Great Plains region, over 400,000 people quickly left the Great Plains to find work, food and a place to live.  Our guess is she lost her family then, and no one ever came back to live inside her loving shelter again.

  What I would give to hear her walls talk....  

I'm back!

We have made it home, finally!

For those of you that wondered where I was and thought I had fallen off the face of the bloggersphere, for the last 9 days The Reluctant Farmer and I have been all over the central US.  Originally we were just going to visit her parents in Kansas, but by the grace of God we got Wigzi into a no-kill sanctuary in Nebraska so we decided to extend our trip by 2 days and drove him 17 hours to his new home.  Folks, it's a drive from Ohio to Kansas.  Ohio to Nebraska?!  I thought I might die!  (The Reluctant Farmer wants to drive to Colorado next year.  I might smother her with her pillow at the mere thought...)  

Incidentally, my allergies were really bad before I left Ohio, and I took what I thought was non-drowsy allergy medication.  Wrong!  I ended up drugging myself, and was absolutely NO driving help to The Reluctant Farmer because I didn't wake up until we were half way through Missouri.  (Don't worry, she has forgiven me...)

We arrived at Hearts United for Animals on Friday morning and I was amazed by the place.  The sanctuary was beautiful, and it seemed like it was modeled after Best Friend's Animal Snactuary in that the dogs live in "pods" and are free to go in and out through a doggie door whenever they wish.  They have over 400 dogs that they take care of, and you wouldn't know they had even one dog by how clean the place was!  I was impressed to see they fed Taste of the Wild to their dogs, and there were dogs running all over their office not in cages.  The staff was so kind and they took a great amount of time with Wigzi, all talking to him and making sure that they labeled his crate as "flight risk" to keep him safe.  You could tell he was going to have the best chance at life there, and I felt so blessed to have been able to get him into a wonderful place that has more experience than I do.     

I'm very pale due to my allergy pill roofie....

There will definitely be more to come on this trip, but I am exhausted tonight.  Castles, abandoned homesteads, wildlife, oh my!  It will be worth the wait, I promise...  I'm glad I am back to writing.  I missed you!

Visit to the Beekman Masion

Today we took a tour of the Beekman Farm, and it was absolutely beautiful! 

 Here are some of the highlights of the day.

The outside of the Beekman Family crypt.

Inside the crypt were headstones of some of the people buried  on the property.

Peeking out of the crypt.  It was so peaceful inside there....

Yes, those are bones inside the crypt...

Farmer John and The Reluctant Farmer

Farmer John and myself

The ever so regal, Polka Spot

I want a goat now more than ever....

Sweetest goat face ever.

Farmer John's sheep, named after Josh and Brent.  Josh is the one with white on  his face....

The gardens

Love these raised beds!

Onder the dog

The Reluctant Farmer lent a hand and planted some sunflower seeds at the Beekman

 Additional pictures available on our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/OnTheUrbanFarm

Garden Party: Meeting the boys....

One of the main reasons for coming to the Garden Party in Sharon Springs, NY was of course to meet Josh and Brent.  With that though came some fear.  Not fear of meeting them because of fame, but a fear that they wouldn't be as genuine as they seemed.  These are guys who have inspired me and many others to live their dreams and reassured us all that with desire and hard work, anything is possible.  

I have been a huge fan of the Beekman Boys, watching their show, reading their books and blogs, and cheering them on while they ran the Amazing Race.  They seemed so witty and good-hearted in my mind that I was afraid that they would not be in real life.  Within the first 3 seconds of meeting these guys it was easy to see that they are as real and gracious as they come.  No amount of fame has changed them, and it was truly a pleasure to meet them.  I was a huge fan before, and somehow if it is even possible, I am a bigger fan tonight.  

Sharon Springs: The Pregnant Roller Skate

The Reluctant Farmer and I usually rent a car for vacations in order to keep extra miles off of our everyday vehicles.  However in order to stay within our budget this trip we had decided that we would just drive my SUV to Sharon Springs.  Or so I thought we had agreed....

The Reluctant Farmer called me at work on Thursday and let me know that she got a rental car for a steal, and when we picked it up I thought she had lost her mind.  The Reluctant Farmer didn't rent us a car, she rented us a pregnant roller skate!  We drove this bright red beast for 12 hours, all the way from Ohio and I can tell you that I have never ridden in a car like this!  I felt every bump, rumble strip (Which I swear she hit on purpose just to scare me...), and bug that hit our windshield, but it is safe to say that I have never traveled that far on $48.00 either!

Sharon Springs Garden Party: Part One

Several months ago I was reading the Beekman Boy's blog, and noticed that they were again hosting the annual Sharon Springs Garden Party and giving tours of their farm.  Well, this was an immediate no brainer for me.  Upstate New York, gardens, and a chance to see the Beekman Boys?!  I was in!  

We purchased our tickets, got our vacation days approved, and then we decided that due to our new budget, we shouldn't go.  In my head I could hear all of the excuses:  We should be saving money.  We have our own gardens at home that need tending right now.  We should stay home and clean the house.  The list of reasons why we shouldn't go went on and on.  Neither one of us was happy with this decision though.  So, at the last minute (yesterday morning) we decided that we would indeed head to Sharon Springs and the trip would be funded mostly by our recent plant sales.  This was the best decision we have made in a long time!  

We left home last night at 11:30 pm and drove straight through to Sharon Springs, arriving here 12 hours later, and we hit the town for some shopping and history, as soon as we arrived.  (Tomorrow this town is supposed to host over 30,000 people and I wanted to make sure that I got my shopping in without fighting the crowd!)  Our first stop in Sharon Springs was The Cobbler & Co.  The Cobbler & Co. is an absolutely charming little store with more unique merchandise than should legally be allowed.  I could have spent serious amounts of money here.  I wanted one of everything!  

Our second stop was The Beekman 1802 Mercantile.  The Mercantile was simply amazing and the highlight of the day was meeting Brent.  I know he was busy getting the store ready for tomorrow, but he was so kind and genuine.  He came out to talk with us, allowed us to take pictures with him, and thanked us for visiting.  He invited us back to visit again tomorrow, and we will be touring their farm which I am so excited about.  

After a few hours of shopping and wondering around Sharon Springs we needed to eat lunch, and the friendly young woman from Beekman 1802 recommended that we eat lunch at Black Cat Cafe.  We both had the turkey pesto panini and the Blaack and Mac macaroni and cheese made from Brent and Josh's goat cheese.  It was delicious, and the owner was so nice.  We sat on the patio, spoke with him for quite a while, and watched the people of Sharon Springs bustle about.  

It is easy to see why the people of Sharon Springs love their town so much.  It is quaint, quiet, and you instantly get the feeling that you have stepped back in time,  to when people were more genuine and friendly.   I can't wait to go back tomorrow!