Sunday, August 9, 2015

Giving my pastor the finger, yet another life lesson....

Now, this is going to come as a surprise to some of you however, I have a confession to make...

I am intense and I lack patience.

I have been trying very hard to slow down, relax, and exert patience whenever possible, however these are areas within myself that still need work.  The truth about me is, I constantly attack life with 100% of myself.  I seldom relax, and I multi-task in a way that would make an air traffic controller juggling fire look sedate.

People constantly ask me:  "How do you do everything that you do?"  Well, the answer is, I do life fast, with a purpose and I am bold beyond reason most days.

This takes us to Friday....

Friday afternoon, I ran to the grocery store after work and then in my post grocery store "I just spent $178- but still don't want to cook" state of mind, I decided I had to have Chipotle for dinner.  Quickly, I hit up Chipotle, took it "to-go" since I had my groceries in the car,and headed home.  I was SO excited about the Chipotle sitting next to me that I could NOT get there fast enough.

Two miles down the road there was a stop light.  The car in front of me was stopped and preparing to turn left, and the car coming at them was stopped and was preparing to turn left also.  We were stopped for approximately 27 seconds, which in my mind was WAY too long, while we waited for one of them "to own" the turn so we could all go about our business.  As we are sitting there a dark blue Camaro goes whizzing by me on the right, and my thoughts:  "At least one of might get home in a timely fashion tonight!"

So, I did what came naturally to me.
I ashamed God.

I rolled down my window, honked the horn, flipped off the car coming at me, and screamed "MAKE A DECISION ALREADY!!"  Then in hit me in slow motion....

**** Side note right here:  For the last little while, I have sat 9 rows from the front of our church staring at a newer pastor, whom I really don't know except in passing, and my thoughts have always been:  "Man, she looks like Sarah Palin!" ****

I looked at the car coming at me and my immediate thought was:  "Man, that woman looks just like Sarah Palin!"  Then it hit me!


I frantically called The Reluctant Farmer:  "Honey, you are never going to believe what I did!  On second thought, you probably will believe me...  I flipped off Pastor Rachel!  I AM GOING TO HELL!"

The Reluctant Farmer immediately starts laughing hysterically, and in her calm, and even tone says:  "I told you that was going to catch up with you one day."

I was NOT amused.  "Honey, stop laughing at me!  This is not cool!  We are going to have to switch churches.  I can never go back there again!  OH MY GOD!"

Then The Reluctant Farmer promptly pipes up with:  "Aren't they going to notice when you don't show up for your Sunday school class?"

CRAP!  I had not thought of that!  I teach Sunday school to the young children of Jesus every week. (No worries, I do NOT teach them how to give folks "the bird" while driving.)  Someone is going to notice if I disappear....

So, I stewed on this for the rest of the night AND was still stewing on this when The Reluctant Farmer got home from work.

RF:  "Hey there!  Are you still upset about flipping the pastor off in a fit of road rage?!"
Me:  "YES!  I can't show my face there EVER again!  We are NOT going back!  I am so EMBARRASSED!"
RF:  "Would you feel different about this situation if the person had not been Pastor Rachel?
Me:  "Yes.  I wouldn't feel guilty at all!"
RF:  "That is NOT Christian like behaviour!  Why were you in such a hurry anyway?  Were you late for something?!"
Me, with my head hung in shame:  "No, I wanted to eat my Chipotle!"
RF:  "All that for Chipotle?!"
Me:  "It made logical sense at the time...."

Then in my mind I thought, perhaps Pastor Rachel had not seen me.  It would be between me and God, and no one would be the wiser.  I would repent by sitting in the front row, tithing an extra 2%, and all would be right with the world.  Except in my heart I did not just let God down.  I let myself down too....

So, this morning I went to church, and you know what?!

Whether it be guilt, coincidence, or just God trying to teach me a lesson, Pastor Rachel was EVERYWHERE!  I saw her when I came out of the bathroom, when I stood in line for my coffee, when I stopped to talk to some folks in the lobby, when I walked to my seat.  Heck, I saw her more in the 30 minutes before church than I normally would have seen her if she was preaching that Sunday!

Then, as she and her husband were standing alone for a minute before service started, I saw my opportunity to make things right with God, Pastor Rachel, and her family.

Me:  "Um, hi.  I think I owe you an apology.  I may have been less than Christ-like in my driving on Friday night, and I don't know if you noticed or not, but I pretty much flipped you off.  And I am sorry...."

Immediately, they both started laughing, and asked me where this happened because they had not seen me acting like a nut.  (Praise Jesus!)  And Rachel went on to explain they were stopped, and about to make the turn when they saw that blue Camaro, barreling up the side of the road, and were discussing the fact that they were both glad they had not turned because that car would have hit them.
Thankfully Pastor Rachel saw the humor in the situation and I have learned a valuable lesson.  I will never use my middle finger again while driving.  

Message received, God!  
Message received....