Sunday, August 19, 2018
This morning started off like every other morning for me.
I woke up under-caffeinated with my body feeling like it needed about 2 more hours of sleep and my hair out of control. You see, every morning for the last 40 years, 4 months and 18 days, I have awoken looking like Ronald McDonald and Kramer had a love child. Now, in my formative years, I hated this about myself, however as I have grown into an adult I have learned to accept and love my crazy locks in all their glory. Even in the morning!
Usually, if I want to go somewhere quickly in the morning, I throw on a hat, because I am not and never will be, one of those girls who can quickly throw my hair up in a "messy bun" or pony tail. (My hair doesn't roll like that....) Currently though, my hair is in a God awful state of re-growth. It's too short to pull back, but it looks hideous under a ball cap.
So, this morning, I wrapped my head in a scarf, complimented myself on my cuteness, grabbed my wallet and my dog, and set off to fetch breakfast and a Sunday paper for my wife.
Quickly, I ran into the gas station, grabbed the requested Sunday newspaper, got in line behind a guy who was paying for whatever he was paying for. (Honestly, I can't say I was really paying attention to him, I was in a hurry to get to my next destination: McDonald's. I needed my morning Coke!) That guy finished up paying, spun around, looked me up and down and quickly blurted out the words: "Well, you look overly-black this morning!"
Now, I'm sure if this man knew me, knew I was under-caffeinated, and knew how hard I work to engage a mouth filter I don't possess, he would have kept his mouth shut, but he didn't.....
And this folks is how I nearly committed homicide before 10 am.....
Me, still shocked: "I'm sorry? Did you just say I looked overly-black?! And what does being black look like exactly?" (I really wanted to hear this explanation....)
Him: "Yes. With that thing on your head, you look black."
Me: "My scarf?! My scarf makes me look "overly-black"?!"
Him: "Well, yeah. Didn't you look in the mirror this morning?!"
Me, pointing to my head: "Actually, I DID look in the mirror, and I thought I looked like your average human, although cuter, because in case you haven't noticed, this scarf is on point!"
Him: "Well, you might want to look again."
And this is when I nearly lost my shit....
Me: "Question for you, did you happen to see the bigot looking back at you in the mirror this morning?"
Him, cockily chuckling: "Oh, so now I'm a bigot? What does that look like exactly?!"
Me: "Well, I wasn't sure what a bigot would look like until now, but after looking at you I realize a racist bigot looks exactly as I thought one would look. Like an idiot! Because only an idiot would spew the stupidity you're spewing while attempting to make a fashion statement by pulling his white tube socks all the way up to his knees when wearing sandals!"
Thursday, August 2, 2018
Rarely do my purchases make any sense, and I am used to that. In fact, I feel it's one of my most endearing qualities! So, when I came home a month ago completely in love with this horse I met, it made ALL the sense in the world to me as to why I should own him. Kay, being the more logical one of us, immediately said "No." Perhaps Kay was right. (Did I just say that on a public forum?!) However, my heart just couldn't quit thinking about this guy.
Several days ago, Kay an I were in the car talking about what she could get me for Christmas and I quickly replied: "That horse."
I was dismissed.
Then the conversation turned to what I wanted for our up coming anniversary and I quickly replied: "That horse."
We discussed how the timing wasn't right currently, etc... and the next thing I know we were at the horse barn "looking" at him. Before we left the barn, we felt pretty secure about adding this guy to our family.
Now, if I'm thinking with my logical brain, this horse makes NO sense. He is 5 years old, has only been gelded very recently, and has had absolutely no training. My non-logical brain says, he's great minded, exactly what I would want if he was trained, and is giddy with excitement.
Meet Henry, my favorite non-rational purchase.....