Back in the Saddle!

I am a huge believer in the thought that the more you push the universe, the more it pushes back and often times you might get what you ask for but it likely won't be what you need.  

I have been looking desperately for a horse for Katzya.  I have emailed, called, and turned this world upside down looking for a horse that would fit her needs.  There were several that we agreed to test drive, but for whatever reason, they just felt wrong.  Almost as if I was trying too hard.  

Saturday morning while on a road trip with my friend we were talking about the horse situation, and I told her that I was going to just give the horse business a rest in the hopes that the right horse would find us.  Not even an hour later I got a call from a friend saying she thought she had found us a horse, and the kicker?  He was 1.5 miles down the road he whole time! 

He is quite the guy.  Bred amazingly, has a brain and he is absolutely beautiful.... We are pretty smitten with him.

Stagnancy stinks....

Last week I had an argument with someone, and for whatever reason it has really affected me.  It has been a week and my feelings are still hurt.  I'm not sure why I have let it affect me in the way that it has, this person is not family nor is she someone I would even consider a legit friend.

Perhaps this is bothering me so much because I really wanted to see the positive in this person.  Maybe because she could actually be quite likeable, I wanted to like her.  Maybe because I own my mistakes I expect others to do the same.  Perhaps that is why this is still bothering me.

I think part of the reason I am so bothered is that I am mad at myself.  I should have seen the writing on the wall several weeks ago, when she blew up at me.  She yelled, popped off at the mouth, and where I would have immediately felt terrible and apologized, she said nothing.  Even when I later went back and tried to discuss why she was so hostile, apologized for any wrong doing on my part, and asked how we could move forward, she still had an attitude and pouted/ignored me for days.  (I hate the submissive part of me that apologizes to keep peace...)

I think it's time for me to suck it up and chalk this up as a lesson learned, because I am afraid if I don't let go I am going to become just like her.  A person who never admits they're wrong, sees no fault in themselves and is not interested in changing who they are no matter how miserable their life might be.  And I guess in truth, who wants to surround themselves with someone who is stagnant?  Not me...  Like stagnant water on a hundred degree day, stagnant people are smelly and become quite slimy real fast.  You can smell the stench in their spirit, and I don't have time for that.

I guess the bottom line is:  This is hers, not mine, and I am walking away....

Only a horse.....

I went to the barn tonight to check on Mia, our horse.  Or, well sort of our horse....

Friday we turned Mia to another little girl so Katzya could move up in her riding.

Mia is and always has been a fabulous friend to us.  She is a peaceful beast with these soulful chocolate eyes that remind you there is most certainly a God in this world.  One look into Mia's eyes and you know that whoever created the horse has to be a magnificent being, because only a person with such magnitude would create an animal so perfect.

We met Mia and purchased her 4 years ago.  She was a long kept promise made to a little girl when she was three years old.  "I will buy you a horse when you are 10."  I heard myself repeat over and over to that little girl.  I honestly figured she would give up on the idea of a horse, much like she gave up on her imaginary friend.  I was wrong....

That little girl got bigger, and eventually I found myself keeping my promise.  I have never been more grateful to an animal in all my life than I am to Mia.  As a parent there are a lot of things you try to teach your children.  It took owning Mia for me to realize, oftentimes a horse is a better teacher....

Only a horse can comfort you when it seems all the world and your parents are on your back.
Only a horse can keep all of your teenage secrets safe.
Only a horse can challenge you to dig deeper into yourself to produce a better you.
Only a horse can absorb your tears when you are rejected by a boy you have a crush on.
Only a horse can make you forget that boy even existed.
Only a horse can connect you with an amazing bunch of new friends.
Only a horse can teach you to work hard and reap the benefits of that work.
Only a horse can see a child like mine through one of the toughest chapters of a person's life.
The teenage years...

I am blessed that my child had such an amazing teacher, and I am even more blessed that we were able to share her with another young lady.

There will be another horse.  We haven't found "the one" yet, but we have imploringly asked the earth for a new horse, and it will be, just not today.  Mia is doing beautifully, and you can tell she is being loved just as much as we loved her.  That is all I ever could want for her.....