Thursday, March 13, 2014

Stagnancy stinks....


Last week I had an argument with someone, and for whatever reason it has really affected me.  It has been a week and my feelings are still hurt.  I'm not sure why I have let it affect me in the way that it has, this person is not family nor is she someone I would even consider a legit friend.

Perhaps this is bothering me so much because I really wanted to see the positive in this person.  Maybe because she could actually be quite likeable, I wanted to like her.  Maybe because I own my mistakes I expect others to do the same.  Perhaps that is why this is still bothering me.

I think part of the reason I am so bothered is that I am mad at myself.  I should have seen the writing on the wall several weeks ago, when she blew up at me.  She yelled, popped off at the mouth, and where I would have immediately felt terrible and apologized, she said nothing.  Even when I later went back and tried to discuss why she was so hostile, apologized for any wrong doing on my part, and asked how we could move forward, she still had an attitude and pouted/ignored me for days.  (I hate the submissive part of me that apologizes to keep peace...)

I think it's time for me to suck it up and chalk this up as a lesson learned, because I am afraid if I don't let go I am going to become just like her.  A person who never admits they're wrong, sees no fault in themselves and is not interested in changing who they are no matter how miserable their life might be.  And I guess in truth, who wants to surround themselves with someone who is stagnant?  Not me...  Like stagnant water on a hundred degree day, stagnant people are smelly and become quite slimy real fast.  You can smell the stench in their spirit, and I don't have time for that.

I guess the bottom line is:  This is hers, not mine, and I am walking away....

2 comments:

  1. It still bothers you because you have a good heart and your feelings were hurt. You want to see the good in people. People with no confidence or self esteem think the way to bring themselves up is to bring others down. Someday maybe she'll realize that she has no friends because of the way she treats people, and she'll change her ways. But for you, head held high, carry on with the knowledge you did nothing wrong.

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  2. As my dear friend always says. "Your can't fix STUPID"
    Walk away, knowing you did the right thing!

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