Tonight I am struggling.
I never realized how hard taking care of another person was until I started this adventure with my dad, and I have to say I hate it.
Part of me is sad, part of me is empathetic, and part of me is flat out pissed off.
Now, I'm sure one day I will miss my dad, and one day I will reflect back on this night and cry tears of sadness that he is no longer with me, but tonight....
Tonight I am 4 seconds away pulling a Britney Spears in the late 2000's, shaving my head and beating the crap out of something with an umbrella.
Tonight, I am not taking care of a "sweet dad".
Tonight, I am dealing with his alter ego. I'm dealing with someone who wants what he wants, wants it yesterday, and really doesn't care what/who he destroys to have things his way. Tonight he forgets his manners, doesn't see the sacrifices made on his part, the financial burden he is strapping me with, and he doesn't say thank you.
Tonight my best is not good enough.
The worst part about tonight though, is knowing I have to do it all over again tomorrow.
In the past I have always wondered why Britney shaved her head and beat an SUV with an umbrella. Tonight, I know why......
Been there at one time with my dad. In the beginning after my mom passed, he was very selfish and put my sister and I through a lot, but in the end he was like a helpless lonely child. You're right, someday you'll look back and miss him dearly.
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