Setting myself free.....

Several months ago, someone I love completely berated me via a myriad of vile text messages.  Whether this person honestly feels the way they claimed to feel about me, or they were just acting out of fear and stress, I will never know, but this person screamed the most inhumane things at me, and I have to admit her words cut me to my core.  

Somewhere between hearing: 

"You are a horrible person!"    

"You're fake!"

"If only you were a genuine person...."

"You're f*cking worthless!"

"I hate you!"

I believed this person.  

I believed I was worthless.  

I believed I was horrible.

I quit writing on my blog for fear this person would judge and berate me again for something seen there.  I second guessed everything I put on Facebook for fear the person would judge me for something I wrote there, and honestly I have been walking on eggshells.  

I'm uncomfortable when I talk with this person because where I apologized for anything I'd said or done to warrant this person's feelings towards me, there has been no apology on her part, so even though this women acts like nothing was ever said, it leaves the continual question in my mind:  "Is what she said about me true?  Do I not know myself?  Does she honestly feel this way about me?"  

This woman has stolen my spirit. 

She has taken the joy out of my smile.

Her words took any self-worth and confidence I had, and ground it into the dirt.

This week I realized I was allowing this woman's words to define me, and I am here to say: No more!  I know who I am.  

I'm brave.

I'm kind.

I care. 

I'm worthy.

I'm enough.

I AM who I'm supposed to be.  

This woman's words will no longer hold me in bondage, and her words have no hold on me.  

I'm shutting them down. 

I'm shutting her down.

I was not created to be bullied, vulgarized, stigmatized or humiliated.

I'm writing this blog post to set me free......