Monday, July 15, 2013

Sometimes crap happens...

Who knew something this cute could make that big of a mess?!

When I got home Friday night, I was so excited for the weekend to begin.  I hit the front door of my house, high on the promise of a great weekend, took a deep breath in, and promptly gagged.

The smell permeating from my house immediately made me recoil and beg God for mercy.  Once I stopped dry-heaving and pleading with the heavens from the front yard, I decided to try and gain entry into the house again.  I bargained with God:   "God, if you could please make whichever dog that smell is coming from be a small dog, I promise to NEVER ask for anything again!"  (I knew I couldn't honestly get that lucky....)

With tears streaming down my cheeks, and my shirt covering my nose and mouth, I glanced in the door and realized that the little dog's crate was clean.

Things went to hell in a hurry after that!  

The only 2 dogs other dogs that could have produced this smell are both VERY large and VERY hairy.  I peeked around the wall into my library, and crap!

Lots and lots of crap!  And one very upset collie standing in the middle of it, pacing back and forth, splashing poop on anything within a 2 foot radius of his crate.

Now, I must interject at this point in the story, and tell you we just made the move to "go green" and stop using paper towels.  Who does that?!  Certainly no one with 6 dogs!  (We are currently renegotiating this idea!)

So there I stand, shocked by the sight and not really sure how to tackle the mess before me.  After several moments I realized the ONLY way to clean this up would be to carefully extract the collie out of the crate, not making eye contact because that induces tail wagging, which causes poop flinging, and human puking.  But, this boy processes an exuberance for life, and it then dawned on my that it might just be best to slide the entire crate out the front door, with the dog in it, so I could wash both dog and crate off in the front yard.  I really felt like a genius!

Then I went to the grocery store and bought the biggest case of paper towels I could find and started on the rest of the room, and 6 rolls later, even though many trees had to die, my house smelled better!  Sort of like a porta-john in mid May versus mid August....

And not to worry the dog smells and feels better too.... 


  1. Oh my goodness ~ I hope that your weekend got better after that mess was cleaned up.

  2. WOW Emily. That sounds like a bad mess. SO sorry!!! I understand Naab has an adoption pending. That is great!! Thank you again for your time. Our daughter had a dog dropped off (least we think that is what happened). He seems young and pretty well cared for. Seems to be mostly Golden, but definately a mix as he is small - only about 30ish pounds. A real cutie. And Mollie did not seem bothered by him and never even growled when we put him in the car. Looking for a home for him as my daughter can't keep him (have 1 dog and 2 cats already). If we did not want a Collie really bad, might consider taking him. And for good news - fence is scheduled to be installed Thursday!! Yea!! Thanks again for your time, support and advice.

    1. You are more than welcome, and a collie will come your way. Tri State Collie Rescue does an amazing job and the perfect collie is out there waiting for you, all in time. Glad you finally are getting the fence installed, thought you might get an arc built first with the way the rain was falling! :)

  3. Only those who love dogs as we do would endure this with such gracious good humor. Reminds me of the time I finally brought that one special guy back to my house after a night dancing at the club. Wait--Did I say my house? My sister's house--we were roommates. And her wolf hybrid had the same problem... only he wasn't crated, so the mess was EVERYWHERE on my bedroom floor. And Jack, that special guy, reposed on his back on my bed telling me great stories while I cleaned up the mess. (No way would I allow him to be involved, though he offered.) And no, it didn't take the romance out of the evening. Well, maybe for an hour or so....

    1. That is awesome! Glad it didn't ruin your night!