Friday, March 25, 2016

Diary Of A Fat Girl - Day 2: I WANT A CUPCAKE!

The only cupcake I am getting is the soap kind!

Dear Journal,

Last night, I woke up out of a dead sleep at 11:30 pm, because I wanted a cupcake.  I didn't just "want" a cupcake.  I "needed" a cupcake the same way my lungs "need" air.  That's how much I "needed" a cupcake.

It went like this:

At 11:30 pm, the house is quiet.  All beings are sound asleep.  I sit straight up out of a dead sleep, with a clarity like no other, and say:  "I need a cupcake!"

I look over at The Reluctant Farmer, who is sleeping peacefully and I know....  She needs to get me a cupcake.  So, I shake her awake....

Me: "Honey!  I need a cupcake!"

RF:  "What?!"

Me:  "I need a cupcake, like NOW!  Can you drive to Meijer and buy me a cupcake?!  They have a 24 hour bakery I think!  AND I want LOTS of icing!"  

RF:  "Are you serious?!"

Me: "Um, yes!  Don't I sound serious?!"

RF:  "No.  No, I am not going to go buy you a cupcake at midnight.  You made it all day with no sugar.  Go back to bed."

Me: "But, now I am not tired."

RF: "Fine, take a Melatonin, and tell me if you still "need" a cupcake in 30 minutes."

Now, she knows I can't even take a child's sized dose of Benadryl with out passing out.  (I am a cheap date!)  

But, alas.  She was right.  I didn't need the cupcake....

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