"And no matter how hard you try to fight it, over time, here's the truth about what happens in animal rescue.
The neglect changes you.
The abuse hardens you.
The suffering breaks you.
The ignorance angers you.
The indifference disturbs you.
The injustice destroys you.
On a daily basis, your faith will be tested.
Your heart will be wounded.
Your soul will be altered.
On a weekly basis, you'll question yourself.
You'll question your strength.
You'll question the world.
On a monthly basis, you'll fall down.
You'll get up.
You'll go on.
On a yearly basis, you'll look back.
You'll see faces.
You couldn't save them.
You'll learn to mourn.
To grieve.
To sob.
You'll learn to trust a little less.
To do a little more.
To fight a little harder.
You'll learn to try, to hope, to pray.
You'll learn to fail, succeed, accept.
You'll learn when to hold on.
When to give up.
When to let go."
Author Unknown
The neglect changes you.
The abuse hardens you.
The suffering breaks you.
The ignorance angers you.
The indifference disturbs you.
The injustice destroys you.
On a daily basis, your faith will be tested.
Your heart will be wounded.
Your soul will be altered.
On a weekly basis, you'll question yourself.
You'll question your strength.
You'll question the world.
On a monthly basis, you'll fall down.
You'll get up.
You'll go on.
On a yearly basis, you'll look back.
You'll see faces.
You couldn't save them.
You'll learn to mourn.
To grieve.
To sob.
You'll learn to trust a little less.
To do a little more.
To fight a little harder.
You'll learn to try, to hope, to pray.
You'll learn to fail, succeed, accept.
You'll learn when to hold on.
When to give up.
When to let go."
Author Unknown
On Friday night, as I looked around my cluttered house, I realized I couldn't breathe. My world felt as if it was closing in on me and I was just so overwhelmed. In the middle of an absolute breakdown I tossed out to Facebook: "FRUSTRATED with my life!". When I verbalized my frustration to my friends in cyber space, I wasn't really expecting for my life to change, however after some major internalizing within and with a clarity gained at church this morning, I have resolved to make 2014 different for myself.
After much deliberation I have decided to quit dog rescue.
Several months ago, I made the resolve that I was just going to quit fostering for the rest of 2013, and I did. That really has not silenced the voice in the back of my mind, so I am going to take a break from dog rescue for at least 2014 and possibly forever.
I live in an ADHD vortex, and frequently have so much going on in my life that people often remark: "I just don't know how you do all that you do!" In truth, I have to admit to you, I don't know how I do all that I do either, and honestly the one thing I would get rid of is rescue. It is time consuming, never ending, and has jaded me. I'm tired of judging people who have to get rid of their pets. I'm tired of being lied to by people who just don't want their dogs anymore. And where normally I would see the good in people, and try to be positive, I'll be honest: rescue has turned my into a bitter woman who really just wants to punch stupid people in the face.
That is not my authentic self.
This is not who I wish to be.
The time to let go is now.
I have been blessed to be able to save a lot of furry lives in my 18 years of rescue. I have met the most kind and generous people because of my dogs, and I have been privileged to work along side my best friends at Lost & Found K9 Rescue, but I am not going to get another childhood with my daughter. I'm not promised tomorrow with my partner or even my own animals. So, it's time for me to slow down, scale back, and simplify.
It's long overdue....
I guess the only thing you can do is to hold on to the GOOD that you have done for animals during the years of rescue.I know myself that I am about ready to block animal rescues on facebook because I just can`t bear their abused faces & wanting to save each & every one.It can`t be done,it is never enough,but you know in your heart that you have helped the animals that you could,& God bless you for that.Phyllis in Pa.
ReplyDeleteI completely understand. Bless you and your family in the upcoming new year!
ReplyDeleteI wanted you to know that because of you ,a long haired cat from Stonyridge Vet Clinic had a long and well loved life. She was going to be shot because she was no longer wanted and you saved her. It was many years and many rescues ago, but she brought much happiness to my life. THANKS .
ReplyDeleteI remember that kitty! :)
DeleteEmily
ReplyDeleteGood for you!! You were/are excellent at rescue, but all your reasons are valid, esp. your daughter.
As an update, you advised us in July when we met with you to look at Naab, to get a puppy and let Mollie (our Golden Retreiver) raise it. We got a 3 month old boy in October and you were so very right!! Mollie has been excellent with him, they are becoming inseperatable and he has calmed her down. Thank you so much for your advice and wisdom!! I am very glad we met you and wish you well in all you do.
Karen! Thanks for writing me! I wondered if you ever got a puppy or not? Did you end up with a collie puppy? Also, when you came here you had a recipe for a canned food alternative that you made in your portfolio. Can you email me that recipe? urbanfarmgirl937@gmail.com Thanks!
DeleteHi Emily
ReplyDeleteYes, we got a collie puppy from a breeder we had met before and really really liked. She had a litter of all boys!! Landon is doing very well.
I will send you the recipe.
Karen
Em, name me one spieces on the planet that would miss human beings? (Line taken from the movie "Beautiful Creatures".) People are people, some good, some bad, some good sometimes, some bad sometimes. Take me for instance, I feel like I'm a good person, but when I go to confession and make a truly good exaimination of conscience, I realize what a shit I am. I don't mean to be, but I am. I guess my point is that not everyone is a dog person and the world would be a much better place if all people were dog people, so those who aren't dog people, well let it go, they probably aren't children people either, so taking their critters away from them gives them more time to take care of their children.
ReplyDeleteI love Shelby, thank you so much for Shelby. She smiles at me when we go for a walk, she sleeps with me when it is cold and she stay by me when I work. Could I ask for anything more? You have done great work and saved many lives, God bless you are all times. - Tresa